Nightmares are coming back from writing

I really do not understand why it is so hard to write about ones own life, I lived it, walked it and survived it. But when I start writing it, I begin having nightmares.
Regardless of everything I have been through I still am persistent on having a happy and good life. I work and help others even thou I don't make that much. I drive a semi truck which I also own with the bank.
I am getting close to 60 years old and before I lose my memory I would like to get it documented. I don't want sympathy just need my story told, it may take several books. I have survived so many life experiences it's hard to believe that I made it without addictions or needing medications. Of course I have had lots of counseling  *SMILE*

Was abused by the adults in my life until I left home. My father was born in 1897 and mother was born in 1915 so their outlook on life was quite different.

On my own at 14, I was a good kid, went to school and worked. Just was not good enough. Father made me leave home, I was the youngest child of 8.

Had a baby at 15 gave her up for adoption I wanted her to have everything I did not have or get growing up. She came back in my life 24 years later until her death May of this year.

Was married at 16
Divorced by 22

Married again later in my twenties to a sicko who tried to murder me.
Divorced after 3 years

Single for another 6 years
Married a man in a professional position who ended up cheating on me twice and raised his son who had ADD, drug and emotional problems 14 years together

I bar-tend and cooked to support myself along with many other jobs sometimes I would work as many as 3  jobs at once.

dysfunctional life style Why? Really did not know what normal was and I still question if I live a normal life. Then when I talk to people or read stories I begin to realize my life has been anything but normal.

Attempted murder

Loss of grandchildren to the state at the same time in bad relationship who was jealous of the time I spent with my grandchildren

went to jail twice because of men
and much, much more.