It is Easter and it is 2:18 in the Afternoon and I have not heard from my children. I guess I was right about that they will be upset at first when I am gone but they will get over it and go on with their lives as nothing ever happen.
The only people that i have heard from is William who tried to commit suicide Friday night but did not succeed, he just had a long sleep. And then there is my sister who yesterday I took to Walmart and she embarrassed me to death and I just kept telling her to stop being a bitch which I made a fool of myself. I hate myself when I do not control my emotions and temper. I keep asking God for help in being a better person all the time and I let him down again yesterday. God I am sorry.
I am calling the Doctors tomorrow cause I can not keep going like I am. All I ever think of is how much I have wasted my life and I have no future. I am old, out of shape and no new skills. I have no medical insurance to find out why I have this infection that won't go away. My doctor said I need to go to a specialist and I can not afford one, so I stay sick. I can't qualify for disability but I am in know shape to work either. I look for work with no results. Unemployment is going to run out and then I am screwed. Is there anyone who will adopt a 52 year old woman?
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