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Thursday, March 11, 2010

restless night

I started drinking beer this morning at 10:30 am.

Went and took testing for a job at 9:00am

I am so tiered of stressing night after night wondering if he is outside my house.

I am on my 5Th beer just wanting to sleep without fear. God only knows what it is like for me right now. Every hour that goes by I want to know if it is my last hour here on earth.

At night its worse. I turn all of the lights on outside so hopefully it will keep him a way from the house.

I am going to go get me a dog so it can let me know if someone is outside of the house.

It is day time so I don't shake but once night gets here I tremble with fear.

When he is out of jail I go into jail. I keep a chair under the door handle on the front door and an a extended rod on the back door from the wall to the door. Each door has two locks that I keep lock at all times.

Do I leave my home or stay here and wait for him to show up again?

The judge keeps letting him out.

Maybe it is time to buy a gun, many people tell me to buy one.

I have never owned one or wanted one in my home. But it is getting so stressful to just live.

It is day time so I feel safer then at night when under darkness he can creep up to my house and no one can see him, I live in the woods.

Just got call that he was seen heading this way.
So I am watching out the door wall and the living room to see if he is here again.

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