Questions I ask out loud

If a vegan won't eat cheese or eggs do they breastfeed their babies?

How committed is a chicken to breakfast when the pig gives it all?

What is enough when you have given everything?

I don't love you enough to hate you!

How many times must a heart be broke, the spirit crushed, dreams destroyed before the soul gives up?

Can you trust what you see when salt looks like sugar?

Jesus Christ! and he died!

How awful can something taste if it would gag a maggot?

If you build for all, who did you build for?

Why wait until your parent dies before getting to know them?

Shove it where the sun doesn't shine

I went to jail for protecting myself from my husband one-time; he used to beat me daily. This particular time he had given me a black eye, bloody nose, and swollen lip after he threw a knife at me that stuck in the wall instead of me.

I had left him a month before and moved to another town miles away. Found a job, rented a room over an old storefront building it was small, cheap, and I felt safe.. The room was quaint with plaster walls, a light hung from the center of ten foot high ceiling with only bare wires with no shade. The wooden floors clean and shiny but needed refinishing. A twin bed snug against the wall, with a small end table next to it, and a window with lace curtains in the center of the wall of the narrow room. I shared a bathroom down the hall with other people who rented similar rooms. It was mine, all mine.

 I was in the middle of preparing breakfast food for the restaurants line cooks. Baking old fashion buttermilk biscuits, frying bacon and sausage, coffee was brewing, the smell was deliciously hanging throughout the kitchen. Country music was playing on the radio, we were happy and laughing. I was feeling almost like my old self, full of confidence and anything was possible for the future.  Little did I know what was lurking outside for me. He found out where I worked. 

After he came in the back door of the restaurant he grabbed me. He was dragging me out the back door when I grabbed the door jamb on both side of the opening. I'm screaming for him to let go of me, my boss grab me under my arm pits but she and I couldn't break his grip. He got me outside into the car and drove off.  The police had been called but they didn't get there in time. He drove us back to the one bedroom trailer we had rented from a church pastor and his wife. 

The police showed up and took us both to jail.

He got out of jail on his own recognize that same day because he was from KY.

I am from Michigan.  Because of that the judge thought I was a flight risk. Ya think so?  I ended up spending 30 days because the judge wouldn't give me back my $100 bail money. So, I told the judge to shove it where the sun doesn't shine. Was not one of my better reactions to an authority figure. Needless to say, the judge didn't find my response humorous.
This happened in London KY. 

#MeToo

What it is like for me to write about anything relating to my life experiences is overwhelming.  With what is going on in the news has made it even worst for the angst, I fight off with medications.

Feeling imprisoned by my emotions. Feeling so much anger towards people's beliefs that any kind of abuse, controlling human rights, verbal abuse, sexual assault, emotional abuse is excepted in any form.

I have news for you it's not excepted. When I heard a woman yesterday say it depends on the severity of the allegations. Who makes that decision? Society, the person causing the unwanted advances? It's obvious it's not working, it must be changed.

#survivor #abused #accountability #changelaws must be more to life for victims. The narcissist attitude of men and women believing it's their human rights to do anything they want.

Survivor of assault lives with it the rest of their life.

Thank you Letter for my donating to AARDA from my eBay sales

Here is a letter that I was sent and am very proud to know I am making a difference for people with Autoimmune related diseases. Every little bit makes a difference.

September 11, 2017

Dear Donor, Artist Denise Fletcher 

On behalf of the Board of Directors of the American Autoimmune Related Diseases Association (AARDA) and myself personally, I am writing this letter of appreciation. We thank you for your financial support during this past year, whether through your online giving or your payroll campaign participation. 

Over the past year, we have been hard at work on behalf of the over 50 Million Americans living with autoimmune diseases. We could not have done any of it without your generosity. AARDA has;

• Redesigned our website www.aarda.org. We have now included a resource list for patients seeking financial help and other services.
• Focused on federal and state level advocacy issues surrounding patient-doctor-insurance communication, step therapy, non-medical switching, the AHCA, among other issues.
• Worked with others to have PDUFA (Prescription Drug User Free Act) pass both the house and senate (www.aarda.org/pdufa).
• Officially launched ARNet, the Autoimmune Research Network. This patient-powered database will connect patients and researchers in helping to better understand and create innovative treatments for autoimmune diseases.
• Continued our long-term programming including; funding the young investigators' research grant, providing patients with information and resources, holding two scientific colloquiums per year, and increasing public awareness about autoimmune diseases.

You are an important part of this AARDA mission that works to improve the lives of the 50 Million Americans and their families affected by autoimmune disease.  Your donor dollars have positioned AARDA to advocate for improved-therapies and additional research and have enabled us to support scientists of the future. Your dollars have been stretched even further through the valuable assistance of dedicated volunteers and contributed in-kind services. This has enabled us to hold our combined administrative and fundraising costs to only 8 percent of our revenues!

Again, thank you. Your kindness does not go unnoticed.  Your help does, indeed, make a difference.

With appreciation,

Virginia Ladd
President/Executive Director

Diagnoses and Living with Fibromyalgia

Just wanted to write some good news as to what I have been up too.
Been sick for many months so everything I have been doing is just taking care of myself. It is all you can do when you have a terminal disease.

After many tests then experimental natural medicine and Pharmacy drugs I hope to be on the road to normalcy. If you have never had a long-term illness normalcy is not a normal life. It's just the most normal I can hope for.

When I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia the doctor said: "I have good news and bad news which do you want first?"

"Give me the good news first."

"Well, Denise you have Fibromyalgia. Now you at least have a name for your illness."

"And the bad news is there is no cure so you will have it the rest of your life."

I was relieved to know it wasn't imaginary after Ten years of being told it was in my head. I learned how to live and work with it. Knowing I had to use time and energy wisely helped. The main problem was family and friends didn't understand what my body was going through. They would suggest exercise, special food diets, detox chemicals and metals out of my body. People just didn't understand I needed to sleep 14 hours a day. I couldn't go for walks anymore. I had to save the energy to bath, cook, clean house.

I was only 30  years old when I first had signs of the disease.
I continued to work and raise kids until I turned 58 years old. As the years passed the disease progressively got worse.
After getting fired for being sick I went on disability. Its taken three years but I am having some luck with a better life than it had been. Working is a privilege when you have a terminal illness. So many take it for granted, I loved to work. But my body said, "You are done, no more."

Its ok now I do all the things I didn't have time or energy for. Writing, painting, reading, and family on the days the pain isn't taking me down. Just started taking Lyrica, it is expensive but the Fibromyalgia is getting worse as the years go by. I do have a good Doctor who is willing to make my life as normal as possible if being limited is any kind of normal. I smile and try to laugh when I can it helps to accept the miserable existence.

Have a great day I will try

Woke up being beaten

Woke hours ago somebody was beating me with a club and throwing very hot water on me making my skin to burn. I was trying to get away my body froze up with stiffness, couldn't get out of the way of this violent attack.
Then I woke for real. Its was just a dream but the pain was real.
Just what it's like to have fibromyalgia.