Wish you were here

Dear Robin Williams,

Mr. Williams I so which you could have found peace before taking your life. You see my daughter had addiction issues herself. I think you and her would have been good friends she had that quick wit, just like you.  She always like taking care of the world at the cost of her own health and wellbeing, just like you. You gave so much of yourself to the people in need in this world. You traveled to dangerous locations to entertain the military personnel, she entertained us here at home.

While your addictions was drugs and alcohol, hers was food. My daughter thought you were one of the greatest comedians a live. I thought she was the greatest daughter a live. Of course she was my only daughter.

Sure Mr. Williams we did have our issues, my daughter and me, but we were friends until the end. You see she also could not fight her demons any longer either.

Mr. Williams my daughter had a weight problem and she had surgery to reduce her stomach so she would not eat as much. That surgery did not go well and two years later the doctor had to re-do the stomach reduction again.  After 8 years of fighting this addiction for food she managed to keep her weight down to 250 pounds.

While all of this was going on she started taking prescription drugs for pain. She was driving and a women broad sided her car on the driver side. She ended up with neck injuries. Then she lost her eye sight and had to have surgery to get it back. She did get most of it back but she was legally blind now. She got married to a bad man who was abusive to the children they had. A lot more went on in her life but she kept working and studying to better her life. She was making plans to leave her husband when the state took her children.  She fought to get them back but developed ulcers from the stress, because of the stomach surgeries she had, her stomach bulged above her diaphragm. The ulcers ate into her heart and esophagus. She had to be airlifted to Cleveland Clinic in Ohio, the same hospital where you had your heart surgery.  For the next year and a half Kathy went through many more surgeries. The doctors had taken half of her esophagus and three quarters of her stomach the first time. She had mini strokes which caused her to lose use of her left leg. Kathy had a feeding tube going into her stomach for food, a bag on her chest to collect the liquids from her mouth. Then I got a call from one of the Heart Surgeons at Cleveland clinic to tell they had to patch a hole in the back of her heart.

Kathy would enroll into college but by the time class would start she would have another major medical emergency. Then she would be fighting to stay alive.  She gave up after the last surgery and ate cookies. She was not supposed to eat anything for six months. The doctors had hooked her esophagus to her bowels and removed the bag from her chest and closed the hole. Four weeks later I got the call, she was unresponsive.  She use to tell me Mom I stay alive for you.

So, Mr. Williams I wish you both were here.