Just going to talk. Life is just so fricken hard. Good news my grandson called and we got to talk for a little while, the first time in 9 years 8 months 6 days. My heart is still sad for him. He got caught up in the system when he was 14 and he is working on getting released hopefully this year. He will be 18 in January.
Babysat for my son's children and his second eldest snuck out of the house and she went to the neighbors whom also is a relative. She told them I was being mean to her. There was nothing that she could have said I was being mean about. She had only been home less than an hour, ate dinner I had cooked, watched some television with her sister. Then told her sister she wanted to talk to grandma. So we talked, she asked me quite a few questions: about my finances, since I don't work, I am retired, and how much canvas cost, aren't they expensive, asked her about going to be a teenager next month, about her having a steer and pig in the next year 4H club. So how I was mean to her I have no idea. She had taken my spot on the couch where I had my stuff so I made her move over, she sat here for a while then moved to another chair. We had laughed. Then she said she was going downstairs I said ok. She lied about me and that hurts so much. I was abused as a child so I do not use violence, physical or emotional abuse. It's amazing that I am even normal considering everything I have been through as a child and adult. I am still crying because of her actions, she don't know that I know what she did. When I got home I had to take a pharmaceutical anxiety pill and today the same.
Besides, I am never mean to my grandchildren, they mean so much to me. After losing four to the state of Michigan, before my daughter died, is just not in my makeup. Even before that happened I rarely disciplined the grandchildren. My own children, I was not hard on them either. If they did something that was harmful or dangerous then I would step in to protect them from harm.
I am just so tired of life.
No comments:
Post a Comment